She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
