its not stalking. its research.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize