my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Enjoy the penises
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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