She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize