You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
