At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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