first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My life is pants optional.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize