She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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