my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
