You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
