apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
