He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
