there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
