My friends, they love my intelligence
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
