I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
