i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
