I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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