I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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