I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
