I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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