so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I stole a fireplace last night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
