i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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