dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize