my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize