He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
