I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
