The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
