She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize