Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
