I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
