I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
