i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
