Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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