It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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