please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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