Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
