I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Text me some of your sweat
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
