The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
