did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
