I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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