They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Alive.
So much puke
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
