Yo dont text me then not text me
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
