it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
