I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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