We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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