Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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