i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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