I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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