it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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