I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
