i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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