You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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