so explain again why im purple
no
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
