I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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