So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
