I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
