At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
