At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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