I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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