U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
