It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
