I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
