Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
