How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
